㈠ 初一上英语短文60词左右20篇
Skating
Mom bought me a pair of skating shoes at my fifth birthday. From then on, I developed the hobby of skating. It not only makes me stronger and stronger, but also helps me know many truths of life. I know that it is normal to fall, and if only you can get on your feet again and keep on moving, you are very good!
滑冰
妈妈买了我一双冰鞋鞋子在我的第五个生日。 从那时起，我爱好滑冰。 它不仅使我越来越加强，而且帮助我知道生活许多真谛。 我知道摔倒是正常的，并且，如果只有你能摔倒后再站起来，就是非常好!
The Sea
What do you know about the sea? Some people know about it, but others don’t. The sea looks beautiful on a fine sunny day, the sea is very big. In the world, there is more sea than land. Do you know Hainan Island? It’s really very nice. We can see beaches, trees and the sea. We can swim and visit a lot of beautiful places.
海
你对海知道些什么？ 某些人知道关于它，但其他不。 海看起来美丽在一个美好的晴天，海是非常大的。 在世界上，比土地有更多海。 您是否知道海南岛？ 那非常好。 我们能看海滩、树和海。 我们可以游泳和参观很多美好的地方。
Computers
Computers are changing our life. You can do a lot of things with a computer. Such as, you can use a computer to write articles, watch video CDs, play games and do office work. But the most important use of a computer is to join the Internet.We don’t need to leave home to borrow books from a library or to do shopping in a supermarket.
Computers help us live a more convenient life.
计算机
计算机改变我们的生活。 您能做很多事用计算机。 例如，您能使用计算机写文章，手表录影CDs，戏剧比赛和完成办公室工作。 但对计算机的最重要的用途是加入Internet.我们不需要离开家去从图书馆借用书或在超级市场做购物。
计算机帮助我们居住更加方便的生活。
Smiling
I think smiling is as important as sunshine. Smiling is like sunshine because it can make people happy and have a good day. If you aren’t happy, you can smile, and then you will feel happy. Someone may say, “But I don’t feel happy.” Then I would say, “Please smile as you do when you are happy or play with your friends happily. You will really be happy again.”
Smiling can let you have more friends.So I say, smiling is like a flower. It will give you happiness.
微笑
我认为微笑是一样重要的象阳光。 微笑是象阳光，因为它可能使人愉快和有一个早晨好。 如果您不是愉快的，您能微笑，您然后将感觉愉快。 某人也许说， “但是我不感到愉快”。 然后我会说， “请微笑，您，当您愉快地是愉快或戏剧与您的朋友。 您真正地再将是愉快的”。
微笑可能让您有更多朋友。如此我说，微笑是象花。 它将给您幸福。
I have got two baby cats. they are very beautiful. One is yellow. the other is white. they are very lovely. the yellow cat is very naughty. He likes to play with people. He often runs here and there. His favourite game is playing with balls, ropes and stones. But the white cat is very gentle. She likes to wash her face. And she doesn′t like to play with people. She often jumps onto my knees. I like to give her a bath.
我有两只小猫。他们非常漂亮。一只是黄色的。另一只是白色的。他们非常可爱。黄色的小猫很调皮。他经常到处跑。他最喜欢的游戏是玩球、绳子和石头。而白色的小猫非常温和。她喜欢洗她的脸。并且她不喜欢和人玩。她经常跳上我的膝盖。我喜欢给她洗澡。
噢，我的小猫为我带来了很多愉快。我们是非常好的朋友。我爱他们。
My family
I love my family, because I have a happy family. My father is an English teacher. His name is Jacky. He is thirty-eight. He likes playing basketball. What’s my mother job? Is she a teacher? Yes, you’re right! My mother is very kind and nice, she is thirty-seven. My mother is always laborious work. I love my parents! On Saturday and Sunday, I often go to the library and play the piano, My father go to play basketball. Sometimes, we watch TV and listen to music at home. I love my family. Because I’m very happy to live with my parents together!
我的家庭 我爱我的家庭,因为我有一个快乐的家庭. 我的爸爸是一名英语教师,他的名字叫Jacky.他今年38岁.他非常喜欢打篮球.我的妈妈是赶什么呢?她是一名教师吗?是的.你说对了!我的妈妈是一个很亲切、友善的人,她今年37岁.我妈妈总是勤劳的干活.我爱我的父母. 在星期六和星期天里,我经常去图书馆和弹钢琴.我爸爸去打篮球.有时侯,我们都在家看电视和听音乐. 我爱我家.因为我和爸爸妈妈一起生活得很开心!
Oh, my baby cats bring me much happiness. We are very good friends. I love them I have a busy summer holidays! These days I went to the Beijing.Great weather !It's sunny and hot all day !I went to a beautiful beach. I palyed beach volleyball with my frends. we are very happy! we had a good time playing in water. 我有一个繁忙的暑假！这几天我去了北京。好天气！整天都是晴天和热天！我去了一个漂亮的海滩。我和我的朋友们打沙滩排球。我们是非常开心的！我们在水里玩得很开心。
A farmer has five sons.They are Ted,Bob,Tom,John and Bill. John has no elder brother. He was four years older when his first younger brother was born. The number of Tom's elder brothers is equal to his younger brothers. Bill will be twenty-one years old next year, and he is five years older than Bob. Bob is two years younger than Tom. Ted was sad because he has no younger brother. There are twelve years between him and John.
一个农民有5个儿子。他们是Ted,Bob,Tom,John 和 Bill。John没有比他大的哥哥，他比第一个出生的比他小的那个弟弟大4岁，Tom哥哥的数量和他的弟弟的数量是一样的（就是他是老三）Bill 明年就21岁了，他比Bob大5岁，比Tom小2岁，Ted因为没有弟弟而难过 Ted 和John之间差了12岁
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说: "恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
It is half past five,School is over.Vicky comes back.His mother is not at home and the door is closed.His brother Jim likes sports.He is playing football in the school.His sister Becky likes music and she is singing with her friends.
Mrs Hyde comes back with a basket on her arm.Vicky sees his mother and runs to help her carry it.They come in and the girl finds there are three cakes in a bag. They are her favorite food and she wants to eat them.
"The other two are for Jim and Becky,"says his mother. "You can have one." "But I am hungry now,Mum."says the girl,"May I have two?" "Yes,you can ."Says the mother,"Go and cut yours in half."
现在是5:30,放学了.Vicky回来了.他的妈妈不在家而且门是关着的.他的哥哥Jim喜欢做运动.他正在学校踢足球.他的姐姐Becky喜欢音乐,她正在和她的朋友一起唱歌.
Hyde太太回来时拿着一个篮子.Vicky看见了他的妈妈然后跑过去帮她拿篮子.他们进来,这个女孩发现包里有3个蛋糕.这是她最喜欢的食物,她想吃.
"另外两个是给Jim和Becky的."她妈妈说."你可以吃一个.""但是我现在饿了妈妈."这个女孩说."我能吃两个么?""是的你可以."妈妈说."去把你的切成两半."
A Supermarket
Near our school there is a supermarket. There are a lot of things in it. You can buy school things, like exercise books, rulers, pens, color pencils, erasers, maps and so on. You can buy drinks, vegetables, fruits, and other kinds of food. Some of them are cheap while some are expensive. On the second floor is the clothing section and there you can find different kinds of clothes.
The supermarket is open twelve hours a day : from 9:00 a. m. to 9:00 p.m. The workers in the supermarket are very friendly and they can help you find what you want.
On Saturdays and Sundays, the market is full of people.
一家超市
我们学校附近有一家超市。里面有好多东西。你可以买到学习用品，比如练习本、尺子、钢笔、彩色铅笔、橡皮和地图等等。你可以买饮料、蔬菜、水果和各种食品。有一些商品很便宜，而有一些却很贵。超市的二楼是服装区。在那儿，你可以见到各种各样的服装。
这家超市每天营业12小时，从上午9：00到晚上9：00。里面的工作人员狠热情，他们可以帮助你找到你要买的东西。
每到星期六和星期天，这里就挤满了顾客。
My childhood was happy with my mother's love. In my young heart, my mother was strong and healthy, and never got sick. She took me to the kindergarten and home every day, in spite of rain and wind.
But one day, after we got home from the kindergarten, my mother went into the bedroom and stayed in bed. I didn't know what had happened. I sat beside her and wanted to cry. My mother said to me, "It doesn't matter, mum has only a stomachache. I will be all right after a while." Although mother said so, I found tears in her eyes because of pain. At that time I knew alts also got ill and cried. I decided I would take care of my mother from then on.
在妈妈的呵护下，我的童年是快乐的。在我幼小的心灵中，妈妈强壮健康，永远不会生病。无论是下雨还是刮风，她每天带我在幼儿园和家之间穿梭。
但是有一天，我们从幼儿园回来后，妈妈进屋就躺在了床上。我禾知道发生什么了，坐在她旁边想哭。妈妈对我说：“没关系，妈妈只是胃疼，一会就会好。”虽然妈妈这么说，但我发现了她疼得眼中含着眼泪。那个时候我才知道大人也会生病，也会哭的。从那时起我决定要照顾妈妈。
㈡ 哪位好人帮忙写一下詹姆斯卡梅隆的英文介绍英文哦。。。关于他的电影作品的。。多谢了！！
James Francis Cameron (James Francis Cameron, 1954 年 8 16 -) is a Canadian film director, specializes in action films and science fiction movies. He directed these films are often beyond the schele and budget, but are hit. Currently the highest grossing box office films in the history - "Titanic" (1997) and "Avatar" (2009) directed all his works. James Cameron film is often an attempt to explore the theme of the relationship between people and technology.
The works of James Cameron "Avatar" movie rated as the world's most global box office reached $ 2.6 billion, is currently the world's highest grossing, which also was on one of the most successful film.
Career
James Cameron was born in Ontario, Canada, a place called Kapuskasing. His father Phillip is an electronic engineer, his mother Shirley Cameron is an artist. Family emigrated to the United States in 1971 in southern California city of Bei Ruia. He studied physics at California State University, but he is only interested in working on the film. He first started with his career writer, and later turned to film art director and special effects processing (for example, in the movie "War of the century" and "escape from New York" in). In 1981 his career as a director, he also served as a movie procer Roger Corman.
Cameron began his film breakthrough in special effects team, the special effects team began work in the "Terminator" (although the film's special effects seem somewhat dated today, but at the time was very advanced). And then he directed "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" is the extensive use of computer graphics, the film eventually won the Oscar for best visual effects, best sound mixing, Best Makeup and Best Sound Editing awards. Cameron in 1997, directed the film "Titanic" as large-scale use of computer graphics, also won the Oscar for best visual effects award. Titanic became the most expensive investment, return on investment is the highest grossing film of the most lucrative. In this level the Oscar winning documentary film received an award of ten, three are Cameron, and they are best director, best procer and best editing.
He married five times total results, including his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow (1989-91), Linda Hamilton (Linda Hamilton ,1997-99) and others. Current wife 苏茜爱米斯 (Suzy Amis), who married in June 2000.
Works director
"Piranha 2: reproction" (Piranha II: The Spawning) (1981 years) was replaced midway [shooting]
"Terminator" (The Terminator) (1984 year)
"Alien 2" (Aliens) (1986 year)
"Abyss" (The Abyss) (1989 year)
"Terminator 2: Judgement Day" (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) (1991 year)
"True Lies" (True Lies) (1994 year)
"Titanic" (Titanic) (1997 year)
"Dark Angel" (Dark Angel) (TV series, 2000)
"Avatar" (Avatar) (2009 year)
"Avatar - Special Edition" (Avatar) (2010 year)
"Deadly abyss" (Sanctum) (2011 year)
㈢ 有关华侨归国作文
一听到“华侨”这个字眼，许多人的感受是不同的，起初我对华侨的感知是搁版浅的：好好的一权个中国人不做，去做什么华侨。但，如今，我已在学校开展的“认华侨，知华侨，华侨爱国（乡）心”活动中，真正地“体谅”了华侨“苦衷”。
所有华侨中。让我记忆犹新的就是美名远扬的华侨――陈嘉庚。为了详细了解陈嘉庚这个华侨，我深一步到网上寻查他的事迹。
陈嘉庚；1874年，10月21日（阴脓九月十二日）生于福建省同安县集美村。父长陈杞柏（字如松）是新加坡商人。后陈嘉庚奉父函召，第一次出洋新加坡~~~~~~1904年，三十一岁时在此后三年间创业额有成就，莫定一定经济基础。1912年，携眷回国。筹办集美学校。1913年，集美学校正式开学。发起筹办新加坡南洋华侨大学。1919年，新加坡南洋华侨大学正式开学~~~~~~此后，陈嘉庚资助其他学校，受助学校足有三十多所。1961年，八十八的陈嘉庚，在8月12日零时15分在北京结束了他辉煌的一生。
㈣ 帮忙写一篇英语作文
您好！
下面有3篇，应该对你有帮助。
希望您满意！
1 Interracial marriages can cause many problems within the family. Due to the fact that the couple has a different family background, culture, and custom, and social class level, many disagreements can occur. Religion can be a problem. If the two has a different religion then the other one, there is a problem. Because some religions celebrate certain holidays while others don't. In Christianity, for example, Christians celebrate Christmas while Buddists don't. Eating habits can also be a problem. One might eat certain food the other don't or dislike. After all, their offspring will encounter problems too. Childrens who are mixed are not likely to be accepted in certain areas in a community. They often have a hard time fitting in. Interracial marriage is not a good idea, but it is still alright to marry someone who is different than you.
2 Frequent migration across borders, driven by the country’s rapid economic growth, is a major reason behind the growing number of mixed marriage.
跨国婚姻增多的主要原因是我国经济高速发展所带来的频繁移民。
近年来，随着社会和经济的发展，跨国婚姻已经不是名人的专利，越来越多的普通老百姓也加入到了跨国婚姻的行列。请看《中国日报》相关报道：
Last year, 68,000 mixed couples registered for marriage, 4,000 more than in 2005. joozone.com
"Frequent migration across borders, driven by the country's rapid economic growth, is a major reason behind the growing number of mixed marriages ," Xu Said。
跨国婚姻失败，只因英语不精
One of my friends, who is a young woman, got married with a foreigner in Australia. But after a while they were having a lot of difficulties and problems. Anyway, they eventually decided to get a divorce. But at the moment she moved out of her exhunsband's house, the Australian man shot her a sentence as a good bye advice. He said " you should get mouth shut and lips open all the time". My friend left the house and the Australian man forever. However hard she tried to forget the past marriage, she was just not able to dismiss the last word he said to her. Uptil today she is still not clear what he meant by saying that. She thought if she did just as what he instructed she would have saved her marriage. She asked many people including me the exact meaning of his last word" lips open and mouth shut". To her dispontment, we all failed to satisfy her with the explanation.
So can any one of you here give me an explanation of what that really means?
3 Nowadays, mixed marriage, cross-culture love are not the fresh news to us, however, they are the everlasting hot topics! Especially, in these days, Economic Crisis.
目前，跨国婚姻、跨国恋情对于我们来说已经不是新鲜事了，但是它们却是值得永远争议的问题。 特别是在经济危机这时期！
About 42.5% of Chinese women were willing to marry a foreign man before the global financial crisis, a survey by a matchmaking website indicated. What do you think of it? China Daily said.
中国日报上报道说，中国某婚介网站的调查显示，大约有42.5%的中国女性愿意与外国男人结婚。
Gals, do you think that Cross-culture marriage is easy to keep? Are you sure that foreign men are much more handsome than Chinese men? Can you assure that you two can live a happy life without any cultural differences and the disparties in habits? I am sure to say, the answer is "NO".
女同胞们，你认为跨国婚姻很容易维持住吗？你认为外国男人都比中国男人帅吗？你能保证你俩会适应得了两国之间的文化差异和生活习惯而活得很开心幸福吗？ 我敢肯定的说，答案是“NO”.
In my opinion, both foreign men and Chinese men are normal ppl, both of them are not perfect, anyway, just the same. Compare to marry a domestic man, to marry a foreigner, you should bear more risks, not matter in cultrual differences or the ways in living. And as for the situation of economy, I do think that the situation in China is much better than abroad!
在我看来，外国男人跟中国男人同样是普通人，他们都会有着这样或那样的缺点。相对于嫁给自己国家的男人，跨国婚姻更多了几分危机，无论是在文化差异或者是生活态度上。至于经济境况，我认为在现在的条件，中国要比外国的经济要稳定些！
So, gals, if you want to do the mixed marriage or the cross-culture love, pls look before you leap, surely that, true love is in the exception!
所以，女同胞们，如果你要来一场跨国婚姻或者是跨国恋情的话，请三思啊！当然，真爱除外！ (但貌似，真爱没几场！)
What's your opinion about the cross-culture marriage now? Do you agree with mine? 42.5%!!! Nearly a half!~~so incredible!
你对跨国婚姻有什么看法呢？ 你认同Happy的观点吗？ （虽然是头脑简单了点，想的东东也是蛮简单了点） 42.5%，接近一半啊！！太让人不可思议了！！！ （暗示着，如果我国男女比例平等的话，有将近一半的男同胞找不到中国老婆， 何况现在我国的男女比例严重失调！不堪设想哦！AA里没找到老婆的快行动咯!
㈤ 急！大家帮帮忙呀，给我一篇根据初二年级下册的水平写三人组幽默英语笑话．要快哦！
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
从前，有个傻瓜去看医生。那医生问他有什么病。那傻瓜说他全身伤了。那医生很疑惑。接着，那傻瓜用手指着头说：“很痛，我的头伤了。”接着，有指着背，鼻子，说它们都伤了。
那医生想了一会儿，说：“你的手指伤了。”
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
年轻的妈妈说：“医生，我孩子吞下一颗子弹，我该怎么办？”
医生说：“不要让他指着任何人。”
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
fool_fox
标题：I'm the boss
内容：The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:员工会议
Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒馆, 客栈
martini 马提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看过v.偷看