㈠ 初一上英語短文60詞左右20篇
Skating
Mom bought me a pair of skating shoes at my fifth birthday. From then on, I developed the hobby of skating. It not only makes me stronger and stronger, but also helps me know many truths of life. I know that it is normal to fall, and if only you can get on your feet again and keep on moving, you are very good!
滑冰
媽媽買了我一雙冰鞋鞋子在我的第五個生日。 從那時起，我愛好滑冰。 它不僅使我越來越加強，而且幫助我知道生活許多真諦。 我知道摔倒是正常的，並且，如果只有你能摔倒後再站起來，就是非常好!
The Sea
What do you know about the sea? Some people know about it, but others don』t. The sea looks beautiful on a fine sunny day, the sea is very big. In the world, there is more sea than land. Do you know Hainan Island? It』s really very nice. We can see beaches, trees and the sea. We can swim and visit a lot of beautiful places.
海
你對海知道些什麼？ 某些人知道關於它，但其他不。 海看起來美麗在一個美好的晴天，海是非常大的。 在世界上，比土地有更多海。 您是否知道海南島？ 那非常好。 我們能看海灘、樹和海。 我們可以游泳和參觀很多美好的地方。
Computers
Computers are changing our life. You can do a lot of things with a computer. Such as, you can use a computer to write articles, watch video CDs, play games and do office work. But the most important use of a computer is to join the Internet.We don』t need to leave home to borrow books from a library or to do shopping in a supermarket.
Computers help us live a more convenient life.
計算機
計算機改變我們的生活。 您能做很多事用計算機。 例如，您能使用計算機寫文章，手錶錄影CDs，戲劇比賽和完成辦公室工作。 但對計算機的最重要的用途是加入Internet.我們不需要離開家去從圖書館借用書或在超級市場做購物。
計算機幫助我們居住更加方便的生活。
Smiling
I think smiling is as important as sunshine. Smiling is like sunshine because it can make people happy and have a good day. If you aren』t happy, you can smile, and then you will feel happy. Someone may say, 「But I don』t feel happy.」 Then I would say, 「Please smile as you do when you are happy or play with your friends happily. You will really be happy again.」
Smiling can let you have more friends.So I say, smiling is like a flower. It will give you happiness.
微笑
我認為微笑是一樣重要的象陽光。 微笑是象陽光，因為它可能使人愉快和有一個早晨好。 如果您不是愉快的，您能微笑，您然後將感覺愉快。 某人也許說， 「但是我不感到愉快」。 然後我會說， 「請微笑，您，當您愉快地是愉快或戲劇與您的朋友。 您真正地再將是愉快的」。
微笑可能讓您有更多朋友。如此我說，微笑是象花。 它將給您幸福。
I have got two baby cats. they are very beautiful. One is yellow. the other is white. they are very lovely. the yellow cat is very naughty. He likes to play with people. He often runs here and there. His favourite game is playing with balls, ropes and stones. But the white cat is very gentle. She likes to wash her face. And she doesn′t like to play with people. She often jumps onto my knees. I like to give her a bath.
我有兩只小貓。他們非常漂亮。一隻是黃色的。另一隻是白色的。他們非常可愛。黃色的小貓很調皮。他經常到處跑。他最喜歡的游戲是玩球、繩子和石頭。而白色的小貓非常溫和。她喜歡洗她的臉。並且她不喜歡和人玩。她經常跳上我的膝蓋。我喜歡給她洗澡。
噢，我的小貓為我帶來了很多愉快。我們是非常好的朋友。我愛他們。
My family
I love my family, because I have a happy family. My father is an English teacher. His name is Jacky. He is thirty-eight. He likes playing basketball. What』s my mother job? Is she a teacher? Yes, you』re right! My mother is very kind and nice, she is thirty-seven. My mother is always laborious work. I love my parents! On Saturday and Sunday, I often go to the library and play the piano, My father go to play basketball. Sometimes, we watch TV and listen to music at home. I love my family. Because I』m very happy to live with my parents together!
我的家庭 我愛我的家庭,因為我有一個快樂的家庭. 我的爸爸是一名英語教師,他的名字叫Jacky.他今年38歲.他非常喜歡打籃球.我的媽媽是趕什麼呢?她是一名教師嗎?是的.你說對了!我的媽媽是一個很親切、友善的人,她今年37歲.我媽媽總是勤勞的幹活.我愛我的父母. 在星期六和星期天里,我經常去圖書館和彈鋼琴.我爸爸去打籃球.有時侯,我們都在家看電視和聽音樂. 我愛我家.因為我和爸爸媽媽一起生活得很開心!
Oh, my baby cats bring me much happiness. We are very good friends. I love them I have a busy summer holidays! These days I went to the Beijing.Great weather !It's sunny and hot all day !I went to a beautiful beach. I palyed beach volleyball with my frends. we are very happy! we had a good time playing in water. 我有一個繁忙的暑假！這幾天我去了北京。好天氣！整天都是晴天和熱天！我去了一個漂亮的海灘。我和我的朋友們打沙灘排球。我們是非常開心的！我們在水裡玩得很開心。
A farmer has five sons.They are Ted,Bob,Tom,John and Bill. John has no elder brother. He was four years older when his first younger brother was born. The number of Tom's elder brothers is equal to his younger brothers. Bill will be twenty-one years old next year, and he is five years older than Bob. Bob is two years younger than Tom. Ted was sad because he has no younger brother. There are twelve years between him and John.
一個農民有5個兒子。他們是Ted,Bob,Tom,John 和 Bill。John沒有比他大的哥哥，他比第一個出生的比他小的那個弟弟大4歲，Tom哥哥的數量和他的弟弟的數量是一樣的（就是他是老三）Bill 明年就21歲了，他比Bob大5歲，比Tom小2歲，Ted因為沒有弟弟而難過 Ted 和John之間差了12歲
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說: "恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：「你是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫『我開車闖了紅燈』500遍。」
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一隻母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一隻貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：「汪，汪，汪」，貓聽了非常害怕，拚命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：「現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。」
It is half past five,School is over.Vicky comes back.His mother is not at home and the door is closed.His brother Jim likes sports.He is playing football in the school.His sister Becky likes music and she is singing with her friends.
Mrs Hyde comes back with a basket on her arm.Vicky sees his mother and runs to help her carry it.They come in and the girl finds there are three cakes in a bag. They are her favorite food and she wants to eat them.
"The other two are for Jim and Becky,"says his mother. "You can have one." "But I am hungry now,Mum."says the girl,"May I have two?" "Yes,you can ."Says the mother,"Go and cut yours in half."
現在是5:30,放學了.Vicky回來了.他的媽媽不在家而且門是關著的.他的哥哥Jim喜歡做運動.他正在學校踢足球.他的姐姐Becky喜歡音樂,她正在和她的朋友一起唱歌.
Hyde太太回來時拿著一個籃子.Vicky看見了他的媽媽然後跑過去幫她拿籃子.他們進來,這個女孩發現包里有3個蛋糕.這是她最喜歡的食物,她想吃.
"另外兩個是給Jim和Becky的."她媽媽說."你可以吃一個.""但是我現在餓了媽媽."這個女孩說."我能吃兩個么?""是的你可以."媽媽說."去把你的切成兩半."
A Supermarket
Near our school there is a supermarket. There are a lot of things in it. You can buy school things, like exercise books, rulers, pens, color pencils, erasers, maps and so on. You can buy drinks, vegetables, fruits, and other kinds of food. Some of them are cheap while some are expensive. On the second floor is the clothing section and there you can find different kinds of clothes.
The supermarket is open twelve hours a day : from 9:00 a. m. to 9:00 p.m. The workers in the supermarket are very friendly and they can help you find what you want.
On Saturdays and Sundays, the market is full of people.
一家超市
我們學校附近有一家超市。裡面有好多東西。你可以買到學慣用品，比如練習本、尺子、鋼筆、彩色鉛筆、橡皮和地圖等等。你可以買飲料、蔬菜、水果和各種食品。有一些商品很便宜，而有一些卻很貴。超市的二樓是服裝區。在那兒，你可以見到各種各樣的服裝。
這家超市每天營業12小時，從上午9：00到晚上9：00。裡面的工作人員狠熱情，他們可以幫助你找到你要買的東西。
每到星期六和星期天，這里就擠滿了顧客。
My childhood was happy with my mother's love. In my young heart, my mother was strong and healthy, and never got sick. She took me to the kindergarten and home every day, in spite of rain and wind.
But one day, after we got home from the kindergarten, my mother went into the bedroom and stayed in bed. I didn't know what had happened. I sat beside her and wanted to cry. My mother said to me, "It doesn't matter, mum has only a stomachache. I will be all right after a while." Although mother said so, I found tears in her eyes because of pain. At that time I knew alts also got ill and cried. I decided I would take care of my mother from then on.
在媽媽的呵護下，我的童年是快樂的。在我幼小的心靈中，媽媽強壯健康，永遠不會生病。無論是下雨還是刮風，她每天帶我在幼兒園和家之間穿梭。
但是有一天，我們從幼兒園回來後，媽媽進屋就躺在了床上。我禾知道發生什麼了，坐在她旁邊想哭。媽媽對我說：「沒關系，媽媽只是胃疼，一會就會好。」雖然媽媽這么說，但我發現了她疼得眼中含著眼淚。那個時候我才知道大人也會生病，也會哭的。從那時起我決定要照顧媽媽。
㈡ 哪位好人幫忙寫一下詹姆斯卡梅隆的英文介紹英文哦。。。關於他的電影作品的。。多謝了！！
James Francis Cameron (James Francis Cameron, 1954 年 8 16 -) is a Canadian film director, specializes in action films and science fiction movies. He directed these films are often beyond the schele and budget, but are hit. Currently the highest grossing box office films in the history - "Titanic" (1997) and "Avatar" (2009) directed all his works. James Cameron film is often an attempt to explore the theme of the relationship between people and technology.
The works of James Cameron "Avatar" movie rated as the world's most global box office reached $ 2.6 billion, is currently the world's highest grossing, which also was on one of the most successful film.
Career
James Cameron was born in Ontario, Canada, a place called Kapuskasing. His father Phillip is an electronic engineer, his mother Shirley Cameron is an artist. Family emigrated to the United States in 1971 in southern California city of Bei Ruia. He studied physics at California State University, but he is only interested in working on the film. He first started with his career writer, and later turned to film art director and special effects processing (for example, in the movie "War of the century" and "escape from New York" in). In 1981 his career as a director, he also served as a movie procer Roger Corman.
Cameron began his film breakthrough in special effects team, the special effects team began work in the "Terminator" (although the film's special effects seem somewhat dated today, but at the time was very advanced). And then he directed "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" is the extensive use of computer graphics, the film eventually won the Oscar for best visual effects, best sound mixing, Best Makeup and Best Sound Editing awards. Cameron in 1997, directed the film "Titanic" as large-scale use of computer graphics, also won the Oscar for best visual effects award. Titanic became the most expensive investment, return on investment is the highest grossing film of the most lucrative. In this level the Oscar winning documentary film received an award of ten, three are Cameron, and they are best director, best procer and best editing.
He married five times total results, including his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow (1989-91), Linda Hamilton (Linda Hamilton ,1997-99) and others. Current wife 蘇茜愛米斯 (Suzy Amis), who married in June 2000.
Works director
"Piranha 2: reproction" (Piranha II: The Spawning) (1981 years) was replaced midway [shooting]
"Terminator" (The Terminator) (1984 year)
"Alien 2" (Aliens) (1986 year)
"Abyss" (The Abyss) (1989 year)
"Terminator 2: Judgement Day" (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) (1991 year)
"True Lies" (True Lies) (1994 year)
"Titanic" (Titanic) (1997 year)
"Dark Angel" (Dark Angel) (TV series, 2000)
"Avatar" (Avatar) (2009 year)
"Avatar - Special Edition" (Avatar) (2010 year)
"Deadly abyss" (Sanctum) (2011 year)
㈢ 有關華僑歸國作文
一聽到「華僑」這個字眼，許多人的感受是不同的，起初我對華僑的感知是擱版淺的：好好的一權個中國人不做，去做什麼華僑。但，如今，我已在學校開展的「認華僑，知華僑，華僑愛國（鄉）心」活動中，真正地「體諒」了華僑「苦衷」。
所有華僑中。讓我記憶猶新的就是美名遠揚的華僑――陳嘉庚。為了詳細了解陳嘉庚這個華僑，我深一步到網上尋查他的事跡。
陳嘉庚；1874年，10月21日（陰膿九月十二日）生於福建省同安縣集美村。父長陳杞柏（字如松）是新加坡商人。後陳嘉庚奉父函召，第一次出洋新加坡~~~~~~1904年，三十一歲時在此後三年間創業額有成就，莫定一定經濟基礎。1912年，攜眷回國。籌辦集美學校。1913年，集美學校正式開學。發起籌辦新加坡南洋華僑大學。1919年，新加坡南洋華僑大學正式開學~~~~~~此後，陳嘉庚資助其他學校，受助學校足有三十多所。1961年，八十八的陳嘉庚，在8月12日零時15分在北京結束了他輝煌的一生。
㈣ 幫忙寫一篇英語作文
您好！
下面有3篇，應該對你有幫助。
希望您滿意！
1 Interracial marriages can cause many problems within the family. Due to the fact that the couple has a different family background, culture, and custom, and social class level, many disagreements can occur. Religion can be a problem. If the two has a different religion then the other one, there is a problem. Because some religions celebrate certain holidays while others don't. In Christianity, for example, Christians celebrate Christmas while Buddists don't. Eating habits can also be a problem. One might eat certain food the other don't or dislike. After all, their offspring will encounter problems too. Childrens who are mixed are not likely to be accepted in certain areas in a community. They often have a hard time fitting in. Interracial marriage is not a good idea, but it is still alright to marry someone who is different than you.
2 Frequent migration across borders, driven by the country』s rapid economic growth, is a major reason behind the growing number of mixed marriage.
跨國婚姻增多的主要原因是我國經濟高速發展所帶來的頻繁移民。
近年來，隨著社會和經濟的發展，跨國婚姻已經不是名人的專利，越來越多的普通老百姓也加入到了跨國婚姻的行列。請看《中國日報》相關報道：
Last year, 68,000 mixed couples registered for marriage, 4,000 more than in 2005. joozone.com
"Frequent migration across borders, driven by the country's rapid economic growth, is a major reason behind the growing number of mixed marriages ," Xu Said。
跨國婚姻失敗，只因英語不精
One of my friends, who is a young woman, got married with a foreigner in Australia. But after a while they were having a lot of difficulties and problems. Anyway, they eventually decided to get a divorce. But at the moment she moved out of her exhunsband's house, the Australian man shot her a sentence as a good bye advice. He said " you should get mouth shut and lips open all the time". My friend left the house and the Australian man forever. However hard she tried to forget the past marriage, she was just not able to dismiss the last word he said to her. Uptil today she is still not clear what he meant by saying that. She thought if she did just as what he instructed she would have saved her marriage. She asked many people including me the exact meaning of his last word" lips open and mouth shut". To her dispontment, we all failed to satisfy her with the explanation.
So can any one of you here give me an explanation of what that really means?
3 Nowadays, mixed marriage, cross-culture love are not the fresh news to us, however, they are the everlasting hot topics! Especially, in these days, Economic Crisis.
目前，跨國婚姻、跨國戀情對於我們來說已經不是新鮮事了，但是它們卻是值得永遠爭議的問題。 特別是在經濟危機這時期！
About 42.5% of Chinese women were willing to marry a foreign man before the global financial crisis, a survey by a matchmaking website indicated. What do you think of it? China Daily said.
中國日報上報道說，中國某婚介網站的調查顯示，大約有42.5%的中國女性願意與外國男人結婚。
Gals, do you think that Cross-culture marriage is easy to keep? Are you sure that foreign men are much more handsome than Chinese men? Can you assure that you two can live a happy life without any cultural differences and the disparties in habits? I am sure to say, the answer is "NO".
女同胞們，你認為跨國婚姻很容易維持住嗎？你認為外國男人都比中國男人帥嗎？你能保證你倆會適應得了兩國之間的文化差異和生活習慣而活得很開心幸福嗎？ 我敢肯定的說，答案是「NO」.
In my opinion, both foreign men and Chinese men are normal ppl, both of them are not perfect, anyway, just the same. Compare to marry a domestic man, to marry a foreigner, you should bear more risks, not matter in cultrual differences or the ways in living. And as for the situation of economy, I do think that the situation in China is much better than abroad!
在我看來，外國男人跟中國男人同樣是普通人，他們都會有著這樣或那樣的缺點。相對於嫁給自己國家的男人，跨國婚姻更多了幾分危機，無論是在文化差異或者是生活態度上。至於經濟境況，我認為在現在的條件，中國要比外國的經濟要穩定些！
So, gals, if you want to do the mixed marriage or the cross-culture love, pls look before you leap, surely that, true love is in the exception!
所以，女同胞們，如果你要來一場跨國婚姻或者是跨國戀情的話，請三思啊！當然，真愛除外！ (但貌似，真愛沒幾場！)
What's your opinion about the cross-culture marriage now? Do you agree with mine? 42.5%!!! Nearly a half!~~so incredible!
你對跨國婚姻有什麼看法呢？ 你認同Happy的觀點嗎？ （雖然是頭腦簡單了點，想的東東也是蠻簡單了點） 42.5%，接近一半啊！！太讓人不可思議了！！！ （暗示著，如果我國男女比例平等的話，有將近一半的男同胞找不到中國老婆， 何況現在我國的男女比例嚴重失調！不堪設想哦！AA里沒找到老婆的快行動咯!
㈤ 急！大家幫幫忙呀，給我一篇根據初二年級下冊的水平寫三人組幽默英語笑話．要快哦！
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
從前，有個傻瓜去看醫生。那醫生問他有什麼病。那傻瓜說他全身傷了。那醫生很疑惑。接著，那傻瓜用手指著頭說：「很痛，我的頭傷了。」接著，有指著背，鼻子，說它們都傷了。
那醫生想了一會兒，說：「你的手指傷了。」
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一個比一個效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that』s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,」 It』s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,」 Wow! That』s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人還有布希總統走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈.他們擦了擦燈出現了一個精靈.精靈說:"我要滿足你們每人一個願望總共三個."加拿大人說:"我是個父親我兒子將成為農夫,因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠肥沃."精靈說了咒語願望實現了.拉登看了很驚奇,他希望有座城牆圍繞阿富汗.精靈又說了咒語願望又實現了.布希總統問:"精靈請告訴我關於這座牆的事情."精靈回答:"牆厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而裡面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進不去."布希總統說:"哇!那是座大橋耶...注滿水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
年輕的媽媽說：「醫生，我孩子吞下一顆子彈，我該怎麼辦？」
醫生說：「不要讓他指著任何人。」
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一顆子彈
2. to point at: 對...瞄準
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
兩個獵人進森林裡打獵，其中一個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。接線員沉著地說：「第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。」於是，接線員在電話里聽到一聲槍響，然後聽到那獵人接著問：「第二步怎辦？」
fool_fox
標題：I'm the boss
內容：The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:員工會議
Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒館, 客棧
martini 馬提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看過v.偷看