英語笑話作文

❶ 初二的英語笑話作文

One day a French man goes to New York.He don't know a word of English.When he arrive in New York,he takes a taxi to the hotel.It's Sunday,so the Frenchman wants to go out for a walk.He walks along the streets and then stop,for he remeber he doesn't no the name of the street,so he wants to write it down.he looks at the wall near the conor of the street.He see some words on it and writes them downin his notebook.He walks for a long time.Then he feels tired and wants to go back to his hotel.He takes the notebook out of his pocket and show the name to a young man.But he doesn't know what the man wants.Do you know what's the words in his notebook?These are the words:No way ahead.
一天一個法國男人到紐約去，他不會英語。當他到達紐約時，他在機場打了一輛計程車去旅館，這是星期天，所以這個男人想到外面去散步。她走在街上然後想起了他應該記下街的名字以免走失。他看著界的拐角處的牆上寫這幾個字就把他們記了下來。當他走累時，他把筆記本上的字給一個人看，但那個人也不明白他是什麼意思，你知道他的筆記本上寫了省么嗎？那上面寫著「前方沒有路」

給點分，我打了半天

❷ 關於幽默笑話的一片英語作文

Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

❸ 英語笑話作文不少於四十個單詞

One hot summer day a fox was walking through an orchard. He stopped before a bunch of grapes. They were ripe and juicy. "I'm just feeling thirsty," he thought. So he backed up a few paces, got a running start, jumped up, but could not reach the grapes. He walked back. One, two, three, he jumped up again, but still, he missed the grapes. The fox tried again and again, but never succeeded. At last he decided to give it up. He walked away with his nose in the air, and said「I am sure they are sour.」 狐狸和葡萄 ●一個炎熱的夏日，狐狸走過一個果園，他停在一大串熟透而多汁的葡萄前。 ●狐狸想：「我正口渴呢。」於是他後退了幾步，向前一沖，跳起來，卻無法夠到葡萄。 ●狐狸後退又試。一次，兩次，三次，但是都沒有得到葡萄。 ●狐狸試了一次又一次，都沒有成功。最後，他決定放棄，他昂起頭,邊走邊說：「葡萄還沒有成熟，我敢肯定它是酸的。」

❹ 英語作文笑話帶有知識

經典－五個吸煙男生有五個男生吸煙被告密老師一一教來談心：第一個男生如實承認被很K一通；回到寢室後說：哥們：我一個人都承擔了，你們時可千萬別認。〔場景一〕老師：老實說吸煙嗎？男生甲：不吸。老師：不吸？嗯，吃根薯條吧。男生甲很自然的伸出兩根手指夾著接過來…………〔場景二〕老師：吸煙嗎？男生乙：不吸。老師：不吸？嗯，吃根薯條吧。男生乙由於聽到甲的情況所以很小心的接過了薯條老師：不沾點番茄醬嗎？乙一不小心沾多了於是馬上用兩根手指彈了彈――老師：不吸？？？彈煙灰的姿勢很熟練嘛。叫家長來………………〔場景三〕老師：吸煙嗎？男生丙：不吸。老師：不吸？好，吃根薯條吧。男生丙因有前面兩個例子很小心地流著汗吃完了薯條老師：不給同學帶根回去嗎？男生丙接過薯條後順手就夾在耳朵上………………〔場景四〕老師：吸煙嗎？男生丁：不吸。老師：很好。吃根薯條吧男生丁心驚膽顫的吃完了薯條，又把薯條放到了上衣袋裡老師突然大喊一聲：校長來了。男生丁感忙從口袋裡取出薯條扔在地上，用腳使勁的踩了踩………………〔場景五〕老師：吸煙嗎？男生：不吸。老師：很好。吃根薯條吧男生剛拿著薯條，老師說：不請我吃嗎。男生感忙從雙手遞過薯條，然後掏出打火機………………〔場景六〕老師：吸煙嗎？男生：不吸。老師：很好。吃根薯條吧男生心驚膽顫的吃完了薯條，又把薯條放到了上衣袋裡老師突然大喊一聲：校長來了。男生已手心冒汗低頭說道：校長您好！老師：校長會聞到你嘴裡的味道的。男生從口袋中掏出薯條：安啦，還在這呢，火都還沒點…〔場景七〕老師：你到底吸不吸煙？老師：真地不吸？好，來吃根薯條吧。男生：非常自然接過薯條吃個干凈。老師：真是個好孩子，你一般喜歡什麼牌子的薯條呢？男生：[得意忘形]大中華。。。。。場景N:老師:吃根薯條吧!男生:謝謝,不會.唇印家中學校長面臨著一個問題，校內年長的女學生開始擦口紅。當她們在洗手間里擦口紅時，她們會將嘴唇印在鏡子上留下唇印。在這個問題變得不可收拾之前，他想到一個方法阻止。於是他召集所有擦口紅的女生並要她們下午2點在洗手間集合。當女孩們在2點到洗手間時發現校長及舍監已在那等候。校長對她們解釋這個問題讓舍監每天晚上都得清理洗手間的鏡子。他認為女孩們並不了解問題的嚴重性所以他要她們自己目睹鏡子有多難清理。接著舍監便開始示範。舍監由盒內拿出了一把長柄刷子，拿到最近的馬桶里沾水後，接著走到鏡子前面開始刷洗鏡子。那以後再也沒人把唇印留在

❺ 英語作文笑話

Playing Jokes Promotes Communication
As a child, we have many friends, we like to play jokes with our friends, sometimes it can promote communication. Like when we are playing game,may be hitting others by incident, at this moment, the way we deal with it is very important. A joke can fix it, it makes us laugh and notice we do this not on purpose. Making jokes reconcile argument.

❻ 求幾篇80個單詞左右的英語短文/小故事/幽默笑話

請參考：
「To bell the cat」 means to do something dangers, something that might end in disaster災難.
The expression comes from an old story. A family of mice老鼠 could not leave the hole to get food because of its fear of a cat. The mice decided to tie a bell around the cat's neck頸. The bell would ring as the cat moved. So the mice would always know where the cat was. All agreed it was a wonderful plan. That is until one wise old mouse asked, 「Who will bell the cat?」
Bell the cat，給貓繫上鈴鐺，這當然是沒什麼難的，但如果聯想一個古老的寓言里，「給貓繫上鈴鐺」還是一件很冒險的事情呢！故事的發生是這樣的：一窩老鼠因為怕貓，結果餓的要命。於是它們認為最好的辦法是在貓的脖子上系一個鈴鐺。這樣，鈴鐺一響，它們就知道貓來了。大家都覺得那是個好主意，但是有一隻老的、比較聰明的老鼠問，「誰去給貓繫上鈴鐺呢？」。當然「老鼠給貓系鈴鐺」是奢談，但如果真的有個老鼠敢為貓繫上鈴鐺，那它也算是「為救眾多的老鼠」而「奮不顧身」了，不過最終也是得到死無葬身之地的結果。不知道現在的社會中是不是：It's very diffcult to get a man who will bell the cat. 很難找到危險時刻能夠挺身而出的人。
所以bell the cat就表示「為眾人承擔風險、替別人冒險」的意思。

還有參考的：
「to be somebody's cat's paw.」成為某人的貓爪，被某人利用 It means to be fooled in to doing someone else's dirty work. It comes from an old story about a monkey. He wants some nuts heating on a fire. The monkey tries to steal the nuts. But he burns his fingers. So, he seizes the foot or paw of a cat and he uses that to pull the nuts out of the fire.

「Fat Cat」 describes someone who is rich. You often hear it ring political campaigns政治競選. Some fat cats give lots of money to politicians they hoped will be elected將被選舉上. American jazz musicians have used the word 「cat」 to mean a man.

A sharp cat is a man who is dressed in the latest fashionable clothing. The great American horn player Louis Armstrong used the expression this way many years ago. Armstrong said, 「I had on a new cowboy hat牛仔帽, a fine black suit, and new shining leather shoes皮鞋. I was a sharp cat.」

❼ 少於50字的搞笑英語小短文「帶翻譯」

1、Text(正文):The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but hisgrandma doted on him. He hardly left her side.

And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這一點，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什麼不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。

約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：「學校怎麼樣？你過的好嗎？哭了沒有？」

「哭？」約翰問，「不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。」

2、Text(正文):The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：「你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。」

「為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢？」

「你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？」吝嗇鬼回答。

3、Text(正文):One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how sty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.

When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

一天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了一陣。當我終於走進屋裡時大聲喊：「世界上最愛你的女人剛擦洗了你的車燈和擋風玻璃。」我丈夫抬頭看了看，說：「媽媽來了？

4、Text(正文):"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants recing by nearly fifty pounds.

Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

「醫生」她沖進屋後大聲說道。

「我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。」

他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：「太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。」

5、Text(正文):A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

一架747客機正在跨越大西洋時，喇叭里傳來了機長的聲音：「旅客們請注意，我們的四個引擎中有一個丟失了。但剩下的三個引擎會把我們帶到倫敦的。只是我們要因此晚到一小時。」

過了一會兒，旅客們又聽到機長的聲音：「各位，你們猜怎麼啦？我們剛又掉了第三個引擎。但請你們相信好了。只有一個引擎我們也能飛，但要晚三個小時了。」 正在這時，一位乘客非常氣憤地說：「看在上帝的份上，如果我們再掉一個引擎，我們就要整夜都要呆在天上了。」

(7)英語笑話作文擴展閱讀：

第一個笑話中spoil造句示例如下：

1、Others say they do not want to spoil their children by leaving them too much.

還有人表示，他們不想給子女留下太多錢，以免寵壞他們。

2、Once you pop open the cork, wines can spoil in a matter of hours.

一旦你打開軟木塞，葡萄酒就會在數小時內變質。

3、They say it only takes a few bad apples to spoil the bunch.

他們說這只需要少數的害群之馬便可毀了一堆。

4、A fond mother may spoil her child.溺愛的母親可能會寵壞她的孩子。

5、The child was spoilt by his grandfather.這個孩子被他的爺爺給慣壞了。

❽ 英語笑話作文80字

作業君找到的參考例題: 【問題】:求經典英語笑話，求學霸

❾ 一篇英語作文，一篇笑話

The Spring Festival is the most important festival in China.People usually decorate the doors and windows with red papercuts.becouse red means good luck.People usually clean house too.becouse they want to sweep away bad luck.Children can get some new clothes or presents from their parents and grandparents.
On New Year's Eve,family always have a big dinner.Everybody are watch TV and talk.In the midnight,there usually fairworks.
On New Year's Day,people usually put on their new clothes and visit their femily and friends.They usually say:"Happy New Year's Day."
The Spring Festival finishes at the Lantern Festival after two weeks.People usually eat a kind of rice mpling called yuanxiao.It can take people good luck all the year round.
笑話；
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我沒有睡著

當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：「先生，醒醒！」

「我沒有睡著。」那個男人回答。

「沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？」

「我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。」

❿ 英語幽默搞笑短文

First Flight

Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.

After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."

第一次坐飛機

約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終於被說服了，登上了飛機。

他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。

過了一兩分鍾，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：「看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？」

「那些就是螞蟻，」他的朋友答道，「我們還在地面上。」

A Nail Or A Fly?

An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.

So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.

Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!

釘子還是蒼蠅？

一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。

於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。

這里，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。

Chaude and Cold

A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."

"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."

"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

熱與冷

蒙特利爾自助餐廳的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。「這太可惡了，」他抱怨道，「標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。」

「可是，先生，C代表Chaude－法語里代表『熱』。如果您居住在蒙特利爾的話就得知道這一點。」

「等等，」那位顧客咆哮一聲，「另外一個龍頭同樣標的是C。」

「當然，」經理說道：「它代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。」

Imitate Birds

A man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the procer.

"Imitate birds," the man said.

"Are you kidding?" answered the procer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.

模仿鳥兒

一個人想在一個舞台劇中找份工作。「你能幹什麼呢？」負責人問。

「模仿鳥兒，」那人說。

「你在開玩笑吧？」負責人答道，「那樣的人一毛錢可以找一打。」

「噢，那就算了。」那名演員說著，展開翅膀，飛出了窗口。

How Did You Ever Get Here

One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."

The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"

"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."

你是怎樣來的？

一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什麼遲到了四十五分鍾才起來上班。「外面太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向後退兩步。」

老闆狐疑地看著他。「噢，是嗎？那你是怎樣到這里來的？」

「後來我決定放棄，」他說，「然後我就往家裡走。」

Keep the Change

Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

零錢不用找了

在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名准備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。

我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。「零錢不用找了。」他說。

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

中間戰術

三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條林蔭道上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：「大減價!」「特便宜!」

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：「大砍價!」「大折扣!」

中間的商人隨後准備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：「入口處」。

Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

最好的獎賞

一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何都能酬謝他。

「最好的辦法，長官，」這名水手說，「是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。」

A Mistake

An Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那裡，醉醺醺的聖彼德解釋說是搞錯了。「每人給我五百美元，」他說，「我將把你們送回人間，就象什麼都沒有發生過一樣。」

「成交!」美國人說。立刻，他發現自己毫不損傷地站在現場附近。

「其他人在哪兒？」一名醫生問道。

「我離開之前，」那名美國人說，「我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應該由他的政府來出這筆錢。」

Imitation

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."

模 仿

一個男孩放學回家時，覺得肚子痛。「來，坐下，吃點點心，」媽媽說，「你肚子痛是因為肚子是空的。吃點東西就會好的。」

一會兒，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，說是頭痛。

「你頭痛是因為你的腦袋是空的，」他那聰明的兒子說，「裡面裝點東西，就會好的。」

Bedtime Prayers

Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

睡前禱告詞

朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。「上帝，求求你，」她說，「讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都吧。」

媽媽打斷她的話說：「朱莉葉，為什麼求上帝讓那不勒斯成為義大利的首都呢？」

朱莉葉回答道：「因為我在地理考卷上是這樣寫的。」

A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!

勢均力敵

有一天某位女士看到一隻老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一隻老鼠夾。店主告訴她：「放點乳酪在裡面，很快你就會逮住那隻老鼠的。」

這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家裡，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到乳酪。她不想再回到商店裡去，因為已經很晚了。於是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅乳酪的圖片放進了夾子。

令人稱奇的是，這畫有乳酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發現鼠夾里乳酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片!

Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."

A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".

Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".

班和笨驢

格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門上貼了這樣一個通知：「勞里教授今天不見他的班級。」

一個學生讀了通知後，擦掉了字母「c」(lass：姑娘)。

後來勞里教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母「l」(ass：笨驢)。